I'm scared to lose you so I'm just going to keep my mouth shut.

Blue Jeans

Blue jeans, white shirt Walked into the room you know you made my eyes burn It was like, James Dean, for sure You're so fresh to death and sick as ca-cancer You were sorta punk rock, I grew up on hip hop But you fit me better than my favourite sweater, and I know That love is mean, and love hurts But I still remember that day we met in december, oh baby I will love you 'til the end of time I would wait a million years Promise you'll remember that you're mine Baby can you see through the tears Love you more Than those bitches before Say you'll remember, oh baby, say you'll remember I will love you 'til the end of time Big dreams, gangster Said you had to leave to start your life over I was like, “No please, stay here, We don't need no money we can make it all work,” But he headed out on sunday, said he'd come home monday I stayed up waitin', anticipatin', and pacin' But he was chasing paper "Caught up in the game" ‒ that was the last I heard I will love you 'til the end of time I would wait a million years Promise you'll remember that you're mine Baby can you see through the tears Love you more Than those bitches before Say you'll remember, oh baby, say you'll remember I will love you 'til the end of time You went out every night And baby that's alright I told you that no matter what you did I'd be by your side Cause Imma ride or die Whether you fail or fly Well shit at least you tried. But when you walked out that door, a piece of me died I told you I wanted more-but that's not what I had in mind I just want it like before We were dancing all night Then they took you away-stole you out of my life You just need to remember.... I will love you 'til the end of time I would wait a million years Promise you'll remember that you're mine Baby can you see through the tears Love you more Than those bitches before Say you'll remember, oh baby, say you'll remember I will love you 'til the end of time

What's wrong with me? After everything? All the lies & the fucking around... Who am I? What am I thinking?

All I want to do is focus on myself and being happy. I just want to have fun and be on my own. I don't have time or feel the need to put effort in to things that don't interest me. You can call me a bitch all you want but I don't care. I want to do what I want to. I'm sick of trying to please other people.

I feel good. Things are finally starting to be okay. I'm getting where I want to be and I'm proving myself. I'm working hard to get where I want. Sometimes I want to give up, but I know all this hard work and extra time & hours I put in with be worth it in the end. I want this & I'm going to get it.

I wish you never lied about all those things. I wish you didn't do all those things you said you never would.

I'm like a ticking time bomb, one of these days I'm just going to exploded. Fuck all the rules & fuck all the inhibitions. I'm getting what I want & nothing is going to stop me.