I have this problem with pushing people away. Sometimes I just get in to moods where I don't want to be around anyone, or talk to anyone. I just want to be alone, but when I'm alone I can't stand it. I miss you. I'm always thinking about you and I hate myself for that. After everything I went through with you, and after all the things you said to me & did to me. Some nights you're all I want and it fucking kills me. I think of all the good times and it makes me sad, but then I think of all the bad things and it makes me even sadder. We were so toxic. I wish we could have let each other in, I wish we didn't run from each other. I loved you, but you didn't understand what that meant.