What's wrong with me? After everything? All the lies & the fucking around... Who am I? What am I thinking?

All I want to do is focus on myself and being happy. I just want to have fun and be on my own. I don't have time or feel the need to put effort in to things that don't interest me. You can call me a bitch all you want but I don't care. I want to do what I want to. I'm sick of trying to please other people.

I feel good. Things are finally starting to be okay. I'm getting where I want to be and I'm proving myself. I'm working hard to get where I want. Sometimes I want to give up, but I know all this hard work and extra time & hours I put in with be worth it in the end. I want this & I'm going to get it.

I wish you never lied about all those things. I wish you didn't do all those things you said you never would.

I'm like a ticking time bomb, one of these days I'm just going to exploded. Fuck all the rules & fuck all the inhibitions. I'm getting what I want & nothing is going to stop me.

To me, to you & everyone.

You can't be alone with yourself, it kills you. No one is ever going to be good enough for you. You live for the attention and affection of others, but refuse to give it full heatedly back to any individual. No one will ever understand you? Of course they will, but you keep them at a safe distance so they can't. You like the idea of these admirers, but you'll never really love them until you love yourself.

life

I don't care, I love it, I love it. Feeling so good, light & free.